The Mystery of the Missing Minds

So, things are exciting around the Orlando house these days. We’ve got all the building blocks for a good mystery novel: suspense, embezzlement, surprises…with a little bit of insanity mixed in for good measure.

Let’s start with the suspense. Apparently my Dad’s job search is going well. He even had an offer from a company in Nashville, TN. That’s where the suspense comes in: we might have to move. Yes. You heard correctly. The Orlandos might be moving away from Orlando. But we don’t know quite yet, Dad is still looking and it is definitely premature of me to get sad or nostalgic. But even the mention of the word “move” makes me a little upset. But we shall see. Until then, suspense!

Now for the embezzlement. And “embezzlement” sounds way more exciting than this really is…just to warn you. Today I got a check from my employer for almost $600.00. This wouldn’t be a huge problem, except for the fact that my checks have been averaging $150.00 a week. Which I didn’t really think about until I got this huge check and thought it was a mistake. I was going to call payroll and alert them to the problem when my dad suggested we go over all my hours and try and figure out if it really was a mistake. So that’s what we did, and guess what? They haven’t been paying me all my money…they still owe me around $470.00. So this should be interesting.

Next, the surprises: Last week I went to get my metabolism tested. I was fully expecting for science to confirm what I have long believed about my body: it really hates me. I was ready to hear that my metabolism was crap and even if I starved myself I would never reach my ideal weight. Well, I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised, actually. Apparently, I have a crazy fast metabolism. Yes, you heard that right. So why are you a chunky monkey, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. Apparently, I’m burning around 2,000 calories JUST BY WAKING UP AND BREATHING and I have always believed the less I eat the skinnier I should be. Which is the case for most people—but not me. When I eat less I actually gain weight because my body goes into starvation mode really quickly. So, the lady told me TO EAT MORE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Which was fantastic to hear. In fact, she told me I had to eat 1600 calories A DAY. Which is a ton of food. I’m having to actually work up to it. It’s hard work. Let me tell you what.

Time for the insanity! I am running a half marathon in November! Yes, I’m THAT insane.

Don't Give Up (You are Loved) or not...

I’ve been on a Josh Groban kick lately. I absolutely adored him freshman year of college (as Tiffany and Jessica can attest), but the fascination had fizzled a bit in subsequent years (further demonstrating my obsessive and then entirely dismissive personality). But now I’m listening to his Awake album, Don’t Give Up (You are Loved) and my cynical side is almost letting me enjoy it (with inevitable sarcastic quips of course). It is fantastic writing music.

Which leads me to my next topic: I’ve started writing again. Which feels great. There is a total release when I write, not unlike an addiction; but I flatter myself that it is a healthy addiction and therefore I’ll indulge. I’m working on a novel and a short story at the same time. The short story should be interesting, mostly because it says a lot about my views of marriage these days (And that’s a whole other story). When I’m done I’m going to start another blog for my fiction and I’ll give you the link if I’m not too embarrassed. But I should warn you--at the rate I’m going--it could be a while. I find that I write about two pages, stop, and then spend two hours polishing. It might be better if I could just push through and keep writing, but my random perfectionism (random because it only pops out occasionally for random activities) does not permit it unfortunately.

Speaking of random activities, my dad’s boss laid him off yesterday. Which is EXTREMELY random because he is one damn good sales guy. And I’ve never even been to business school but even I know Business 101: Don’t lay off the guys bringing in the money. I think we’re all pretty confused about it. However, I think in the end it will be a good thing. He hated that job and after this move, I’m glad he doesn’t have to work for arrogant, business school dropouts who obviously have NO idea how to run a business. So long unidentified audio and visual supply company. Go f*** yourselves.

And that is my update. Sorry it ended on a sad note, but this week has been kind of s*** and I’m feeling a little melancholy myself.