LA or Bust: Part Two

Here is the very late follow up to my LA adventure!

Everybody knows the real party at the Emmy awards starts after the cameras turn off. Drunk and mostly disappointed celebrities meander through as many after parties as they can, milking the free publicity and the free booze. Sometimes this happens without incident—other times you’re lucky enough to catch a glimpse of something truly spectacular. So, last month when I found out I was going to work one of the hottest Emmy night bashes, excited didn’t begin to describe my reaction. Hysterical was more like it.

I really didn’t expect to see anyone until 10 or 11pm (what self respecting celeb is actually on time to an event?) So when we got to the party and people were whispering that LiLo and her gal-pal Samantha Ronson were already in the VIP tent, I was a little taken aback. But that didn’t stop me from scoping out the situation. Careful not to look like I was gawking (which probably made me even more obvious) I walked over to get a drink by where the two were canoodaling. And she looked…it was so sad. I almost cried for her (but that would have ruined my make-up). She was in this little slinky velvet dress with a hood that looked like she must of bought it drunk, high and on her Blackberry. The material and the dark color did nothing for her emaciated frame and pale skin tone. She was also definitely sporting the twelve-year old I-just-got-out-of-the-pool-and-towel-dried-my-hair-while-eating-a-very-berry-popcycle look. Suffice it to say, I was not impressed. Samantha was even less impressive, but there were no expectations there. But I couldn’t help but be happy for them. They looked happily oblivious to their sadness.

The next celeb on the radar was Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth from The Hills. I obsessively watch The Hills, so I was so excited when the two (and Lo’s new boy toy) sat down right next to where my group was standing. Lo looked fabulous, as always. She was wearing this gold belted dress with black pumps. They actually looked like YSL Tributes—but I didn’t get close enough to be really sure. Lauren was also fantastic in a navy blue ankle length gown with a jeweled brooch. I read somewhere that she designed it herself—but I guess there are also murmurings that her full time job of hating “Speidi” and propensity to sun bathe leave her little time to make an honest living. After twenty minutes or so, I overheard her saying she wasn’t feeling well and she ended up leaving the party early. Lo and co. followed soon after.

Chandra Wilson (Dr. Bailey on Grey’s Anatomy) was quite elegant in a black Tadashi Shoji halter gown. My co-worker and I appropriately gushed over her fantastic performance on the show and she genuinely thanked us. I think she might have been my favorite celebrity of the evening, mostly because she was so real in a room brimming with fake boobs, fake smiles and fake bravado.

Sandra Oh (Dr. Yang on Grey’s Anatomy) sauntered down the red carpet next, in an Oscar de la Renta black lace dress. But it was her sister, Grace Oh, that I actually met. She was beautiful too, in a classic Hollywood red gown and a red lip. They look exactly the same, and have very similar facial expressions, so it was pretty funny to talk to her. She was a little lost and looking for Sandra—eventually she went back in the party to retrieve her sibling. That girl was a riot.

The next celebrity will only be exciting to all those girls who were obsessed with NSYNC when they were 13—myself included. Joey Fatone (Who is the host of the new series “The Singing Office” that has debuted with less than stellar ratings—and not surprisingly in my opinion. Does anyone actually want to see their boss sing, “Like a Virgin” into a ruler? I didn’t think so) actually looked great in my opinion. Maybe the camera does put on twenty pounds.

The Office crew got there a little later. I actually bumped into BJ Novak (Ryan) as he was walking in my general direction (so maybe he bumped into me?)—which might have been a bit embarrassing if any thoughts besides “oh-my-god-that’s-BJ-Novak” were going through my head during the slow mo collision. I saw John Kransinski (Jim) next, which also was a highlight of the evening. He was as hot in person, as he is on television. Melora Hardin (Jan), Brian Baumgartner (Kevin), and Phyllis Smith (Phyllis) were also milling around. I really wanted to give Phyllis a hug because I think I’ve been conditioned to feel like that when I see her on the show. But I refrained—which was probably a good thing for my job.

Two actors from another show I’m obsessed with, Pushing Daisies, were also present and milling around. Lee Pace (The Pie Maker) was so adorable and there was no mistaking the signature voice of Kristin Chenoweth (Olive) who I know and love as Glenda the good witch in the Broadway show Wicked. Her dress was a fantastic white gown and she admitted to reporters that, “this isn’t my hair, or my eyelashes!” So honest!

There were a billion other celebs too: Kevin Spacey, Jaimie Fox, Jesse Spencer (Chase on House), Simon Rex (Entourage), Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer), Elijah Kelley (Hairspray) and The Bravery performed to an ecstatic crowd. And as good as they were, I think excessive amounts of alcohol had a lot to do with their excitement.

As the night came to a close, I couldn’t help but think that maybe being a celebrity wouldn’t be as fun as it seems. People were running up to Lauren Conrad and sticking cameras in her face even when she said no pictures. And she was sick! It seemed like a lot of them had to jump out of cars, back into cars, flash bulbs going off everywhere…it all just seemed so—fake and empty. And annoying. Therefore, I think I’ll stay anonymous for the time being. Thank you very much.