Realizations

This past weekend was all about realizations. I realized just how long it will be before I’m laughing and dancing with my dearest friends again. I realized how much those friends mean to me. And most importantly, I realized what is most important in life.

Let me start by saying, the weekend surpassed any of my expectations. The venues were perfect. The dresses were perfect. The food was perfect. I guess the word “perfect” describes Tiffany and Aaron’s wedding…perfectly. It was gorgeous. She was gorgeous. She was so gorgeous I cried.

One of my favorite parts of the wedding was holding Tiffany’s train while we were walking to the chapel. She looked so ready for this next stage of her life and I found myself wondering if I will ever feel about a guy the same way she feels about Aaron. There were no “dating games” in their relationship. There was no waiting three days to call or feigned indifference (at least not when they were officially dating ☺ ). They were just soul achingly and heart wrenchingly in love. And watching Aaron look at Tiffany walk down that aisle—I have no doubt he will treasure and love her until his last breath. Witnessing that kind of love—that kind of devotion—that kind of raw purity in a relationship makes me wonder if it will ever come along for me. I have to believe it will. And until it does, I’m just going to be happy that couples like Aaron and Tiffany are around to remind me of what is possible when you focus on God and let him lead a relationship.

I also realized how much I really miss my friends from Hillsdale. Sitting around until 2am talking about the newest Vogue and other sundry girlie topics—I could almost transport myself back to the Whitley basement. I had so much fun; from our wild Bachelorette party to taking off our shoes and dancing to “Dancing Queen” at the reception—I think I laughed and cried more in two days than I have since graduation. And it was so hard to let go at the end of it all. Realizing we’re all in different places in our lives and things will never be the same is difficult. I almost want to go back in time and shake myself—why didn’t I appreciate these precious relationships more when they were right in front of me? I guess the Yellow Taxi song says it best. You really don’t appreciate things until they’re gone. And my days at Hillsdale are gone now. I’ll miss that place--and the people who made it live--so much.

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot