It’s so funny going from Hillsdale boys to New York City boys. Hillsdale boys won’t make eye contact to make sure you won’t get “the wrong idea.” New York City boys get you drunk and then try to usher you to their apartments—where they hope you have the “wrong idea”…if you know what I mean. Hillsdale boys open doors for you. New York City boys steal your cabs. Hillsdale boys play Ultimate Frisbee. New York City boys don’t even lift things—they have “bad back problems in their family”…”its preventative.” Hillsdale boys swing dance. New York City boys want lap dances.
Last night I went on a date with a guy named Richard. He took me to the Guggenheim and out for “a glass of wine” afterward. Which turned into “just a few” martinis. Richard is from England and flies back and forth from London “all the time…first class.” Aren’t we all impressed? After insulting America, being an ass to our waitress, and talking about himself the whole night he had the nerve to invite me to his hotel room. Even though it was a thoroughly romantic offer, I regretfully had to decline. You see, I had work the next day and he had an early flight out of JFK.
“That doesn’t matter,” he said trying to go in for a kiss.
He’s lucky I didn’t smack him.
Where have all the good men gone? Is there no happy medium? Do they have to be slime balls or completely socially awkward?
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7 comments:
ugh how awful!
I think that's the $500 gazillion question, isn't it?
I have nothing to add. I can't even compare Washington, D.C. guys with Hillsdale guys, because I don't know any. :-P
I HAVE NO USE FOR A GLITTERY MAN!!!
I also don't care for how he DISABLES HER VEHICLE SO SHE CAN'T GO ANYWHERE and that he STALKS HER AND WATCHES HER SLEEP and constantly GETS CLOSE TO HER EVEN THOUGH HE REPEATEDLY SAYS HE COULD KILL HER SO EASILY.
Also, I don't like the idea of snuggling with freezing-cold marble. Or f***ing a popsicle. But that's just me.
Wow emily...what the heck are you talking about?
Heather--
There are those fantastic in-between guys, they are just always incredibly taken by someone else.
Or they're 18. That's my experience. Pity I refuse to rob the cradle...
And, at least he was English, I imagine the accent made the whole even better.
Sorry, I think I took the last one. Not sharing either...not that you want him...lol...you would kill each other.
Anywayz, I will call you tomorrow. I have all three boys home right now, so my days are more than a little busy. :)
I love you!!!
Here's the answer: all the good men are either taken or unattractive... except one! And that's my husband. Well, except two--my husband and your husband.
Heather I love you (Emily, you're a close second). Just trying to imagine the expression on your face during the date with this guy... utterly priceless! I can't stop giggling... yes, yes, you suffered, woe to you. As for the good men; I have cousins, they're kind hearted, attractive, have WONDERFUL relatives...and I think you're worthy. ;D Love, Red
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